EJ MONTINI

Your cheatin' heart will make you ... WIN!

EJ Montini
opinion columnist
New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick after one of his Super Bowl wins.

Sorry, boys and girls, apparently Hank Williams got it wrong.

Your cheatin' heart will not make you weep.

You will not cry and cry over it. And, when you go to bed at night you actually will sleep the whole night through.

I'm guessing New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick sleeps like a baby. Not that he's ever cheated. Except, of course, that time his team got caught videotaping other teams.

But not this time. Not according to Belichick.

At his press conference Thursday he channeled Claude Rains as Captain Renault in "Casablanca," and announced that he was shocked, shocked to find something might have been done to footballs that might have given his team a competitive advantage in a game that got them to the Super Bowl.

Here's another thing Hank got wrong.

Your cheatin' heart will not tell on you. And even if, say, an opposing coach or equipment manager notices something fishy, and even if you get caught, you'll still win.

That, boys and girls, is today's lesson from the National Football League.

And from just about every other professional sport. And from business. And from politics.

Cheaters win.

And worse, more and more research is showing that they don't feel bad about it. At all.

A few years back Forbes magazine wrote an article describing a study done by researchers at the University of Washington, the London Business School, Wharton and Harvard Business School. Among the most prestigious in the world.

Researchers discovered that getting away with something immoral or improper gave participants what they called a "cheater's high," and that it far outweighed any sense of guilt.

In an article for Psychology Today magazine, Michael Price, Ph.D., a lecturer at the psychology department at Brunel University in London, wrote in part:

"In any social system, there are three main reasons why cheaters win. First, mechanisms for detecting and punishing cheaters are often weak or gameable... (Like, say, a small fine for cheating compared to making the Super Bowl?) Second, although cheaters can harm the honest and cause long-term social decline, cheating can also be extremely beneficial, for both cheaters and those who support them... (Hear that Barry Bonds and Lance Armstrong fans?) Third, trying to catch cheaters is often costly, unrewarding and risky..."

Tell it to any whistleblower.

We like to believe that sports teach our children valuable lessons about life.

They do.

Just not the lessons we would like to impart. Or maybe we would.

"Deflate-gate" is a perfect example. If it is proven that New England purposefully deflated footballs to gain an advantage in the conference championship game all the team will suffer is a little ridicule and -- for them -- small fines.

In other words, they win!

It's like one of the researchers in "cheater's high" study said, "I think we often presume that guilt and remorse are going to hold people back. As humans, I really think we're quite good at justifying our own behavior and putting it out of our mind in a way that makes guilt and remorse poor disincentives."

All I can say is, where was this guy when I was making lame excuses for my behavior to the nuns at St. Titus Roman Catholic Grade School?