Valley couples to appear on WeTV's 'Sex Box'

Loneliness makes people do things that can seem crazy.

It can make going on reality TV seem like no big deal. It can make agreeing to have sex onstage, in a soundproof box, seem like a reasonable thing to do. It can make talking to strangers about your relationship fears, sexual hangups and emotional hopes seem as normal as anything else.

That's how lonely Brittany Pennington, 26, of Tempe, felt, a year into her marriage to her wife, Sally, when she clicked on the Craigslist ad offering free couples therapy in exchange for some travel ... and an appearance on a new reality-television show.

"Sex Box" debuts tonight on WeTV with the first of nine episodes. The Penningtons' episode airs Friday, March. 6.

"After we got married," Brittany said, "we were having some issues with Sally's family, having issues with the fact that we were being openly gay. Sally kind of shut down and didn't feel accepted. We were so exhausted emotionally."

The Penningtons were married on live TV in a group wedding during the 2014 Grammy Awards officiated by Queen Latifah.

On the show, which is a version of a BBC show with the same name, couples who have essentially stopped having sex in their long-term relationships are invited to do so in a soundproof, opaque box, in front of a live audience, and then come out and talk to a panel of experts about their feelings.

The idea is that, after sex, people are more apt to be honest about what they need, and, if they want to make their relationships work, they'll be open to the advice from experts about how to do that.

A sexless marriage can be one in which sex never happens, or happens a few times a year, or happens briefly and it's not satisfying. It's a somewhat self-diagnosed condition.

The Penningtons are one of two Valley couples on the show. Production company Relativity Media also cast Phoenix couple Anita and Alton, who are not sharing their last names out of concerns for (some) privacy. They've been married for 15 years and have four children.

Relativity Media chose couples based on their narratives, as well as their willingness to be open and honest about their relationship and intimacy issues. They also looked for diversity of background, geography, relationship issues and sexual orientation, according to Marisol Smith, a spokeswoman for WeTV.

Critics, including the Parents Television Council, One Million Moms and the National Center on Sexual Exploitation, have called the show salacious and vulgar, petitioning WeTV to remove it from its lineup or to refund cable viewers who don't want to watch. A joint statement said the show is "about pandering to the lowest common denominator."

But the BBC season received some praise from participants and sex therapists. Participants reported improved relationships, while counseling experts said talking openly about sexless marriages is as important as it is rare.

Rachel Thomas, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Phoenix, said she's skeptical about the show but doesn't dismiss it.

Thomas, whose practice is called Therapy With Heart, hasn't seen the show, but just the act of seeking out therapy can be transformative, she said.

"There's something about both of you saying, 'This is something we need to work on.' The fact that you're saying, 'You matter to me so much that I would do this,' and 'I want to be physical with you,' and 'I don't want this to get in the way of us being together,' that's really powerful," Thomas said. "Just the act of going to therapy is really powerful."

That said, after almost 20 years in practice, she has never advised clients to "just go home and have sex and then come and tell me how it went."

In fact, she added, "I've never heard of that approach. And I'm not saying that doesn't happen. But ..."

Brittany said she and Sally were nervous about the show. But both wanted to address their intimacy problems. So they welcomed reality-TV cameras into their home. And they sat thorough counseling before the show with a three-person panel of experts: a pastor, a relationship psychotherapist and a sex therapist. And of course, they had sex in a box.

Brittany said it was decorated like a boutique hotel room, but with sex toys.

Sally said it worked.

"When we got out, we could pinpoint exactly what we needed to tell them," Sally said. "It made our minds more clear about what we needed to say."

Throughout the show, Brittany explained to Sally how hurtful it was to have her pull away, emotionally and physically. And Sally made some breakthroughs about how to heal her relationship with her mother, who had refused to talk to Brittany and accept the marriage.

"I basically learned to be more emotionally available," Sally said. "To put my hand on her shoulder. And it takes a little bit more, and I have it, but I was overthinking things, kind of.

"I think it did work, and it did help us communicate better. Now, we basically carry on with the tools that they gave us. We have had some issues, but we worked through it by talking through it rather than me shutting off and her going into another room."

Brittany said the process was scary and somewhat weird. But she's thankful for the free therapy.

"I wouldn't change it because we're at our happiest."

'Sex Box'

The first of nine episodes airs at 8 p.m. Friday, Feb. 27, on WeTV. Check local listings.