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Strangers on plane give dying woman chance to say goodbye

Strangers on a plane gave a dying woman a chance to say goodbye

Dianna M. Náñez
The Republic | azcentral.com
LouAnn Alexander at work wearing her flight attendant wings in 2015.

Rex Ridenoure searched for a good seat in the airport terminal and immediately wished he had a drink, preferably whiskey, to help him face what he knew would be a long flight filled with reminders of his little sister.

Rex had arrived early at the Baltimore-Washington International Airport. He wanted a quiet spot.

Soon enough he'd be in a big plane surrounded by a noisy crowd. The direct flight on March 12 to Los Angeles was expected to be close to full. Rex calculated the hours they’d be in the air and the time it would take him to make a quick trip to his home in Pasadena for clothes and then drive back to Chandler, where his sister, LouAnn Alexander, lived.

He'd left her for a work trip only because LouAnn told him she'd be fine. LouAnn is always telling her brother not to worry

Settling into a seat in the Southwest Airlines terminal, Rex tried to clear his mind of the fogginess that had plagued him for weeks.

It seemed strange that he felt close to LouAnn sitting in an airport 2,300 miles from her home in Arizona.

But it made sense, too. Airline terminals are like a second home for LouAnn. She spent the past 34 years working as a flight attendant for Southwest Airlines. Thirty-four years before she got sick. Before the diagnosis.

Rex didn’t know that the plane he’d soon board would be filled with people who’d help him make Flight 4463 a way for LouAnn to say goodbye to flying.

Saying goodbye to his sister wasn't something Rex was ready to do yet.

In the terminal, he stretched his legs, leaned back and remembered when they were little.

Her farewell flight touched hearts around the world. Now her family must say their own goodbye

'We were so close'

Rex and his big brother, Ross, had always loved having a little sister to dote on. They were a trio, one born right after the other.

“My mom would say she had ‘one walking, one crawling and one coming,’” he said. “We were so close.”

For as long as he could remember, Rex,Ross and LouAnn had been taking turns watching out for each other. It was a good thing.

Being close had helped them navigate the world without their parents. They lost both their mom and their dad to pancreatic cancer.

When the "big C-word" takes your parents, you spend your life worrying about your own health, he said.

One way the siblings dealt with that fear was by reminding each other to visit the doctor for regular screenings.

“Early detection, early detection, early detection,” Rex said. “It’s so important.”

The three share the latest research like some families share recipes, he said. Just this month, Ross called Rex to tell him he was checking into a new pancreatic-cancer screening at the Chao Family Comprehensive Cancer Center in Irvine, Calif.

“It’s a brutal disease,” Rex said.

Years ago, when LouAnn was diagnosed with breast cancer, she was ready for the fight.

“She’s a survivor,” he said.

This past year was big for LouAnn. Her oldest daughter told her she's expecting a boy, LouAnn's first grandson. He'd be born in the spring when the desert would still be cool enough for hikes and flower blooms. Her younger daughter would soon graduate from Arizona State University with a master's degree. And LouAnn had ended the year with another all-clear from the doctor during her breast-cancer check-up.

Then, about seven weeks ago, LouAnn had a nasty stomachache. Everyone had been sick lately. It was probably no big deal. But to be safe, she called her daughter, an emergency-room nurse.

“LouAnn doesn’t like to complain,” Rex said.

LouAnn went to the hospital for a few scans and a few lab tests. The results were conclusive.

“She had cancer,” Rex said.

'Sweet Mama Lou'

Her daughter started a blog to update family and friends on how “sweet Mama Lou” was making it through each day.

When LouAnn was a young woman, long before her career as a flight attendant, she was a cheerleader for the Denver Broncos.

LouAnn Alexander years ago when she was a Broncos cheerleader.

Her daughter wrote that LouAnn threw the best Super Bowl party in February. Cheering from her hospital bed, she attracted a crowd of fans who celebrated the Broncos’ win.

“Mama Lou is truly the strongest woman I have ever met, and I have no doubt this cancer will run for the hills when it sees her fight,” her eldest daughter wrote.

Rex said they soon found out that LouAnn had pancreatic cancer. LouAnn made a plan. She started chemotherapy and she cut her blond hair short.

About a week after starting chemo, LouAnn went for a checkup. The cancer had spread to her liver.

“They couldn’t treat her,” Rex said, his voice softening with each word.

She went home with her family and made plans for hospice care. Rex and Ross have been making trips to Chandler to spend time with LouAnn.

Everything has moved too fast, Rex said.

“Just a couple months ago she was still flying,” Rex said.

Rex hated that after a 34-year career, LouAnn never got to retire, never got to say goodbye.

Sitting alone in the terminal, Rex thought about everything that cancer had taken from his little sister. He wanted to give LouAnn something back.

He spotted a flight attendant sitting nearby. Without knowing exactly what he’d say, Rex introduced himself.

“I asked her if she had any of those little plastic Southwest Airlines wings on the plane,” he said.

The woman said the plane was usually stocked with some. She paused, and then asked what he wanted the wings for.

“My sister is one of you,” he said.

LouAnn Alexander worked for 34 years as a Southwest Airlines flight attendant.

A final flight

Rex told the woman about LouAnn having flown for Southwest for the past three decades. He cleared his throat and found a way to say out loud what LouAnn was going through now.

“She’s very, very ill,” he said. “She never got a chance to say goodbye to the flying she loved.”

Rex said he hoped to carry the little plastic wings on board Flight 4463 for LouAnn. He’d give them to her when he saw her again.

“It’d be like her final flight,” he said.

The woman's eyes opened big. She stared at Rex.

“Are you LouAnn’s brother?” she asked.

“Yes,” he said. “Do you know my sister?”

The flight attendant, Jamie, said she’d flown with LouAnn in December. She knew LouAnn was sick. She didn’t know how sick. Rex explained about the hospice home care and about how he’d be seeing LouAnn again soon.

Jamie cried. They talked for a bit, and soon it was time to board.

Jamie was a flight attendant on Rex’s flight. She promised to find him a pair of plastic wings. She put him in a seat up front and got Rex that whiskey he knew he’d need to make it through Flight 4463.

On board, Rex stopped Jamie again. He asked if he could make an announcement. He wanted to say a few words about LouAnn and he asked for a stack of napkins.

Jamie cleared Rex’s request with the pilots.

Rex stood in the aisle and tried not to cry.

“My sister, LouAnn, she was a flight attendant for Southwest,” he said. “She’s sick.”

Rex told the plane full of strangers about LouAnn. About her flying career, her time as a Broncos cheerleader and what had happened to his little sister in the past six weeks.

He held his phone up and said he’d pass it back so people could see photos of LouAnn. He wanted them to know what she looked like when she smiled.

He told the passengers he’d pass back napkins. He said they could write a message for LouAnn, share a joke or even just a comment about the flight.

"I want to make this her final flight,” he said.

He sat down. Rex figured he'd get about a dozen messages back.

The passengers on Flight 4463 did much more than that.

'Of course we’ve never met, but I took a moment to pray for you!'

By the end of the flight, strangers had left 96 napkins and other keepsakes for LouAnn.

 

  Some passengers drew pictures for her. A woman named Sheryl crocheted a rainbow-hued hair band to keep LouAnn warm. A man and his seatmate turned a few napkins and drink stirrers into a bouquet of flowers.

The wife of a pastor wrote down her phone number and told LouAnn to call her if she ever needed someone to talk to. A woman named Erica spent three hours drawing a vase filled with flowers.

"Dear LouAnn, These are some of the flowers that grow around the house I live in. Whenever I see them, they really brighten my day, and I hope they can brighten yours as well!"

"What came to mind when I heard of your situation was 1) Your brother loves you a lot! 2)  It reminded me of a portion of the Bible where people ask Jesus why an individual is sick."

"You've got my love, too, and everyone aboard it appears, we're all keeping you in our thoughts, 28,000 ft in the air."

"May God bless your beautiful soul. Your brother made me love you and I don’t even know you."

"Of course we’ve never met, but I took a moment to pray for you!"

"My favorite quote from when I had two brain tumors almost two years ago: 'You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.'"

Rex wanted to say thank you. So when the flight ended, he waited by the gate. He hugged strangers and talked with Jamie and the rest of the flight crew.

At home, Rex decided to make a photo album on his Facebook page for LouAnn. He wanted her to see what happened on Flight 4463.

He posted 164 photos. Pictures of messages scrawled on napkins, of passengers and the flight crew and a few favorite family photos, one where LouAnn's smiling in her Broncos cheerleader outfit and one from when they were kids.

“Please enjoy this photo album sis. It's YOUR final flight on Southwest Airlines: 'Leaving LUV for LouAnn.'" 

LUV, Southwest Airlines' longtime stock ticker symbol, suddenly seemed more meaningful.

He made the album post public, hoping family, friends and passengers on Flight 4463 would find it and share it. Within days, the album had thousands of shares from friends and strangers who thought others needed to know what happened on Flight 4463. A couple of days later, Southwest Airlines shared the album on its Facebook page: “This one is for you, LouAnn Alexander.”

The airline's post now has more than 1,000 comments and more than 16,000 likes.

Rex says his family likes reading comments co-workers and strangers have left for LouAnn. When Rex got back to LouAnn's side, he had a gift for his little sister. He gave her the small plastic wings with a red heart in the middle.

Flight 4463 gave Rex's little sister a chance to say goodbye. It gave him something to hold on to.