Allhands: What I learned in 6 months of motherhood

It’s hard to believe my kid is six months old today.

We celebrated with an early wake-up call and refusal to eat or sleep, a bumped head while crawling at my feet during a conference call (luckily, the phone was on mute) and some general whining triggered by teething.

Welcome to motherhood, right?

The last six months have taught me a lot about myself. As I told a friend this weekend, it’s stretched and changed me in ways I could have never dreamed.

Here are a few things I’ve figured out:

YOU NEVER ACTUALLY FIGURE THINGS OUT

That silly voice you used yesterday to make the kiddo laugh? It makes him look at you today like you have three heads. Things that have worked for months to pacify your munchkin or make him fall asleep suddenly stop working. Don't worry -- it's nothing you did wrong. Just be flexible. Experiment. Fail. Adjust. Find success. Repeat.

YOU’LL BE SURPRISED AT WHAT YOU CAN (AND WANT) TO DO

Yes, you can chase a kid all day on four hours of sleep. And learn to type (and eat) with one hand. You can edit a story with a kid strapped to your belly and change a diaper while brainstorming ideas with your colleagues. But it goes beyond multi-tasking. Before I was pregnant, I considered it a form of torture to be in the same space with multiple children. Now, I volunteer to go to child traps like splash pads because I know it’ll make my little guy smile.

5 things they don't tell you about maternity leave

MOMS ARE WAY TOO HARD ON THEMSELVES

There’s a lot of self-righteous judgment out there (ask any mom who doesn’t breastfeed). But moms lump it on themselves. We compare our kids to others. We read way too many parenting articles and feel bad when we fail to follow their advice. News flash: That doesn’t make us better moms. Read child-development studies. Trade notes with other moms. But also remember that every kid is different, and what works for one family may not work for yours. There’s nothing wrong with that.

WE NEED OTHER MOMS IN OUR LIVES

For all the things that make us different, moms have a ton of shared experiences. And no, I’m not just talking about what diapers we use or how we put our kids to bed. That’s why it’s so important to surround yourself with a group of non-judgmental moms for support. For every crazy labor experience, poo blowout or marathon crying session you’ve had, you can bet someone else has had something at least equally bad. It’s therapeutic to lean on each other.

ENJOY YOUR KID FOR WHO HE IS NOW, BECAUSE HE WON’T BE THE SAME AGAIN

Columnist E.J. Montini offered this bit of wisdom after I came back from maternity leave, and I’ve taken it to heart. He says that the kid you have at three months is not the same kid you have at six months, and your 6-month-old is not the same kid you have at a year. Kids are constantly changing, and you can’t get the 3- or 6-month-old back once he’s gone. So enjoy the time you have together, and look forward to the new boy (or, eventually, man) your kid is becoming.