How do I find my missing ex-wife?

Today’s question:

My ex-wife is stricken with bipolar disorder and has lived on and off the streets in San Diego for several years. She always has called to speak to our son on his birthday and on occasional weekends, even from jail or the mental-health facilities. Starting this year she has not called. We tried locating her in jails, and I know mental-health facilities are confidential. I think she died. How could one confirm a death outside of an obituary? (No family members have passed away.)

This is pretty sad, isn’t it?

I know these things happen, but it’s hard for me to imagine the stress and grief that comes from this kind of situation.

I have two suggestions, but I’m sure you people will have others.

First, hire a private investigator. This is just the sort of thing such people do, and if they are any good it should be fairly easy. I have no idea what it might cost.

Second, do your own search by phone or online. Contact the California Department of Public Health and ask for their vital statistics office. They keep track of birth and death certificates. The Web address is cdph.ca.gov.

All states have such offices, so if you’re not sure she was in California you’ll need to search some other likely locations.

Good luck.

ASK CLAY ANYTHING

You've heard of Reddit's Ask Me Anything. Well, what would you ask Clay Thompson, our resident guru of random knowledge? E-mail your questions to clay.thompson@arizonarepublic.com, and check back at clay.azcentral.com for his often hilarious responses.