Arizona couple fall in love again after husband loses memory
Cydney Henderson
Imagine this.
The loving spouse you walked down the aisle with a little more than a year ago suddenly doesn't recognize you.
All the memories of your life together are erased in an instant.
Your wedding day. First vacation. Daddy-daughter time. Arguments and supportive moments. All gone.
This nightmare became a reality for one couple in Chandler, after Adam Gonzales woke with amnesia on Sept. 28, 2016.
It was triggered by a traumatic brain injury from an attack five years before that had left Gonzales, 42, in a coma for a couple of months.
Suddenly, his loving wife, Raquel Gonzales, was nothing more than a stranger to him.
“There were times where Adam said, 'Let’s just get a divorce. If I can’t remember you and I don’t know you’re my wife and I don’t love you anymore, let’s just call it quits,' ” Raquel, 36, said.
What followed was a long and sometimes dark road that would end with joy and love rediscovered.
This is their story.
Arizona love story: A preschool proposal; 20 years later married
Chapter One: The Incident
Adam, a former AT&T corporate executive, was attacked in Texas in 2011. He said he died and was brought back to life three times before falling into a coma for four months.
Adam, who didn't go into detail about the attack, suffered major trauma to the brain. Doctors told family members he had a small chance to live.
"They were telling my family, ‘If he makes it, he’s going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life,’ ” he said.
Adam defied all odds. He soon learned that surviving was the easy part and living would prove to be the challenge.
“That was a whole other road of recovery because I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t think cognitively for myself,” Adam said.
He had to learn how to do everything again over the course of a year in a rehabilitation center, including basic necessities such as feeding himself to even learning how to grocery-shop or pay a bill.
“Once all my skills and everything I learned had been lost, I went from a corporate professional to starting all over again like I was in the high school looking for my first job,” Adam told The Arizona Republic. “I was at ground zero.”
He called this period “post-Adam” because he felt like a different man. He described it as a very lonely time.
“I needed to start a new life and a learn a new trade. ... I was trying to find myself and provide for myself, so I decided to move to Arizona in the end of fall 2012,” Adam said.
Chapter Two: The Date
Journal Entry: January 6, 2013
So, on December 15, 2012 - I met a man named Adam. We met for our first date at the Vig Uptown and the date ended up being like 6 hours ...
The night got off to a rocky start after a mix-up of directions.
But Adam and Raquel hit it off after what they know as the "6-hour date" that became the "best date ever!"
What started as a conversation about cars turned into drinks at a Phoenix restaurant, dessert at a second Phoenix restaurant and chuckles at a comedy club.
“He is this country boy, slender man with this nice smile and kind eyes. From the moment he sat down, we haven’t stopped talking since,” Raquel told The Republic.
Conversation came easily to the two. Adam shared his story of what happened to him just one and a half years before their date.
“I was floored. This man is a miracle,“ Raquel said. "I was thinking this could be the man to lead my family, this is a man that I could give my heart. I called it from Day One.”
The couple got married in July 2015, bringing their children from previous relationships together to become one blended family.
“It seemed like we were meant to be a family,” Adam said. “I didn’t want to lose any time with her. It didn’t matter how long a day I had at work, it didn’t matter how long I stayed up at night. I was operating out of excitement and love.”
Chapter Three: Heartbreak
The morning of Sept. 28, 2016, started normally.
Raquel picked her mother up from working a graveyard shift. She returned home to wake up with Adam and take the kids to school, but something was different.
“I see the lights on in the living room. Adam was in his boxers looking super confused. He was looking at his phone and didn’t know what was going on,” Raquel said. “I asked, 'Do you know who I am.' He said, ‘No.' ”
Adam had woken with amnesia and had no recollection of his new family. All of a sudden, the moments they shared together were gone.
“My whole world stopped and my heart sank,” Raquel said. "It was heartbreaking to me."
After five days of tests, doctors could not explain what happened.
“I’m in a hospital having to believe I’m married, I’m living in Arizona and have this life I do not remember at all,” Adam said.
Five years after surviving a horrible attack, he found himself on another road to recovery. It would test his faith, family, friendships and, mainly, his marriage.
“What am I supposed to do, my husband is telling me he wants a divorce. We got married a year ago. This is our honeymoon phase, this is our newlywed phase. How is this happening?” Raquel said.
Chapter Four: Hope
The Gonzales’s world was completely changed. However, they discovered a silver lining — hope.
Raquel reached out to a support group called “Blended Families” at their local church. Through the "horrible pain," she felt comfort in the love and honesty of her new family members, including the group leader, Andrea Parrish.
“I remember her, this is typical Andrea. She said, 'This is the time you’re going to have to love him for the both of you,' ” Raquel said.
She fought for their marriage. They had to start over.
“My wife, God bless her, she had me fall in love with her. She did things to help me fall in love and get to know her all over again,” Adam said. “That was encouraging that she was standing by me through all of this.”
In November 2016, more than a month after he developed amnesia, Adam's symptoms improved.
He woke up thinking it was 2013. He remembered the first year he had dated Raquel. Most important, “he remembered that he wanted to be with me,” she said.
Adam never regained memory from late 2013 to November 2016, which included the couple’s engagement, wedding day and other key events.
"It took weeks to catch him up on three years of life," Raquel said.
Now, the couple are sharing their story as living proof that no battle is impossible.
“We firmly believe that there is value in sharing our 'testimony' and reminding others that there is hope in any situation,” Adam and Raquel wrote on their blog “Faith, Family & Friendships."
“Looking back on everything I’ve gone through in my life and my journey — the hurt, the pain — I thank God for those friends that he put in my life to help me through that journey,” Adam said. “I thank God for my wife that never gave up on me even when I wanted to give up on the union of marriage.”
To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
“I have a miracle walking around me all the time,” Raquel said.
READ MORE:
Arizona love story: A preschool proposal; 20 years later married and Instagram famous